How I’m Feeling Now

After a couple of stressful days, I have today made the decision to stop making myself sick with worry about my baby girl.

I spoke to a councellor from the Australian Breastfeeding Association, who reassured me that I am doing a good job, that Mayana is taking enough feeds, and producing enough wet nappies for her to be considered to be feeding well.

I had a fantastic visit with a wonderful new friend who was encouraging and supportive and helped me to get out of the horrible place I was starting to enter.

I spoke to the midwife who I initially saw on Tuesday, as she rang me to check how Mayana went with the doctors. Once she found out that nothing came up in the tests, and that she is medically healthy, feeding, producing wet nappies etc, her opinion would be that Mayana is simply a *little* baby. She agreed that giving her farex (which by the way she is LOVING) is not a problem and will not hurt her. She also supported me in my decision NOT to continue to force Mayana to feed every two hours, as this was just distressing to both of us, and not conductive to good feeding anyway.

She also supported my decision to cancel my doctor’s appointment today. She also felt that it was unfair of my GP to do that, given the amount of pressure I felt I was under to try and stuff as much as I could down Mayana’s neck in two days. She did not feel that was a fair amount of time to track any weight gain. She suggested that I go to see her BEFORE my GP appointment on Tuesday (which will be giving it a week, as suggested by the paediatrician). This way, I will have an idea of what Mayana has gained, and will be able to have a professional opinion on Mayana’s situation, meaning I will go into my GP appointment with that much more confidence, and enough information to back myself up if my GP does make me feel uncomfortable again.

I have decided to make regular visits to this particular midwife (from the family health clinic at the hospital), instead of the drippy MHN I have been seeing. She is a lovely lady, and didn’t make me feel like I was doing anything wrong once. I also really appreciated her follow-up call today, and her willingness to back me up in my decisions as a mother.

So all-in-all, today I am feeling much more confident in my decisions, in my daughter’s health, and in my ability.

Praise God! Thank you to all those who have been praying for me (and Mayana).. I really appreciate it.

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