How do you do meals?

 

In our home, mealtimes are a really important part of our family time. For breakfast and dinner, the four of us sit down together every single day, and eat as a family. We say grace, (even Reuben holds hands with us, bangs our hands up and down as we say the familiar words, and pronounces ‘A-men!’ at the end), and interact together as we eat our meals. The children eat what we eat and when we eat. At lunch, I sit down to share a meal with the kids too. It’s just what we do.

Growing up, my family did the same. I maybe didn’t value it in the same way when I was in highschool, being woken up at 5.30am so that we would have time to get ready for school, have family breakfast at 6.30am and be out the door and off to the bus at around 7am. We would hold hands and say grace, and have a family devotion when we finished eating. Family dinners always happened around the table, with the TV off. They still do, at my family’s house. Dinner around the Buma Table is a Thing now, and so many of our friends love to be a part of it. My family eats great food, and has great conversation that almost always ends up littered with raucous laughter and borderline inappropriate jokes. But it’s so much fun.

When Pete and I first got married (and both moved out of home for the first time), we did get into a habit of eating our breakfast and dinner on the couch together, while watching TV. When I became pregnant with Mayana, we talked about it and made the decision that this was a habit we had to break when she arrived. And it was such a natural thing to do once she was born. Even when she was a tiny baby we would have her in her lay-back highchair up at the table with us, and as soon as she was eating proper foods she would join us properly at meal times. We have very rarely had the television on during mealtimes since, and we never watch TV in the mornings anymore.

I remember being on a teaching practicum once and talking to the kids about healthy eating habits. We talked about where we eat dinner, and I was genuinely shocked at the number of kids who proclaimed to never eat dinner at the table. Literally more than half the kids (who were around 8-9 years old) always ate dinner from their laps or the floor in front of the TV. Admittedly, we do that on occasion, as a special treat if we are having a family movie night or something, but I know it will never, ever be a normal thing in our household. On one level this could just be out of pure selfishness, because I really do value the concentrated quality time our family gets to experience when we sit down together to share a meal. There are no distractions (other than our food I suppose) and we get to talk, catch up or plan our days, share stories, and enjoy each other’s company. But on another level I really do think that it promotes lots of positive habits and healthier choices to our kids.

I can reflect on this as a person who experienced family mealtimes throughout my growing up years, and also as a mother who also provides the same experience to her own children. Eating together as a family provides an opportunity every day (for us twice a day) for concentrated conversation, where attention is divided only between the people who are at the table together. It’s bonding-time at its best, and most definitely promotes family unity.

There are simple things, too, like table manners. Something that I think is disappearing a little from general society. And if my prac class’s mealtime habits are any kind of indication, it kind of makes sense for people to not have table manners when they’re not eating at a table! Dinner around the table is where we learned the little things like to not chew with your mouth open, and not to have your elbows on the table (I still don’t really get that one, although I have been known to say it to Mayana!!), not to interrupt people mid-conversation (although my family is a terrible example of this… we talk over the top of each other all. the. time, it’s just how we roll!). Mayana has learned already how to properly set the table, with the knife to the right of the plate and the fork to the left, and she also helps to clear the table and tidy up after the meal.

When I was searching for the image at the top of this post, I keyed into Google “families that eat together stay together” and dozens of articles appeared, full of research and quotes and statistics attesting to the truth of the statement. Plus, eating together, talking together, laughing together… it’s FUN!

A few weeks ago, my family celebrated the 50th birthday of my dad and the 21st birthday of my sister. Many of their individual friends and our family friends who jumped up to the microphone to honour them with speeches spoke about our family, our togetherness and hospitality, the way we welcome anyone in not just as a guest but to become part of our family. And pretty much everyone who spoke of these things referenced the way we have dinner together, because most of them have at some point (or maaaaannny times) shared a crazy meal around our table. I LOVED that. It made me so proud, and so much more determined to embed that tradition into our children, and make it a key element of the way that my own little family works, too. I have some great role models in my parents on how to make a family great, and I know that this is one simple thing that can have a huge impact on my family, and our togetherness.

Are mealtimes important in your family? Do you eat around the table often or just for special occasions? Maybe you could challenge yourself to make a point of eating together every night for a week, and see what effect it has on your family dynamic.

questions of schooling

I just want to preface this post by saying I have absolutely no judgement on where or how people choose to educate their children. This is all my own experience and opinions and thought process in making the decision for my child’s education.

 

Mayana has one year left before she goes off to big school. It makes me feel quite ill to think about it. And with waiting lists for schools around here filling quickly, it seems that it is time to be thinking about where we’re going to send her in 2014.

The obvious choice of course is sending her to my school, but I don’t want to make the choice only because it is the obvious one. My school is a Christian school, and is quickly growing, with a good reputation. The Prep classes seem to fill up quite quickly, and I know and like all of the teachers in Prep and the rest of the junior school.

There are also two schools with good reputations within walking distance of where we live now. One is a Catholic school and one is a State school. The Catholic school has a really cool art department, and from what I understand teaches allied arts (visual arts, drama, dance and music) as specific subjects for all ages. That really appeals to me. People I’ve spoken to who send their children there seem happy with it. I like the idea of having a Christian curriculum, and I find that Catholic curriculum is quite well rounded (I did a prac in a Catholic school and had many opportunities to explore and engage in the ‘theology’ curriculum). My school doesn’t have a specific Christian curriculum, though teachers are encouraged to embed the teaching of Christian principles and ‘theology’ (only for want of a better word) within their programs. It’s a little ambiguous though, and with not a lot of accountability. I know it is my responsibility as a Christian parent to teach my child about the ways of God, and help them to understand why I believe what I believe and hope and pray that they make the right choices. I’m not trying to palm it off to someone else, but I like the idea of have our way of life backed-up in school, instead of being challenged or questioned.

The State school I have also heard good things about, from both parents of kids who go there, and friends who have done supply work there.

It’s made me really think about what is important to me in a school for my child. I myself went to a Christian school from the beginning of my schooling till the end of year four, a state school for the remainder of my primary years, and completed high school at a Christian school which I hope one day, when we move back to the Coast, I will be able to send my children to.

I liked going to a Christian school, I liked being able to talk and learn about God and things that were important to me. I grew so much in my faith at school. I like that there are stricter boundaries, greater accountability, and often higher expectations (for behaviour and academia) in private schools. I know that is a huge generalisation but I am speaking from my own experiences, both as a student and a teacher. I’m not completely naive, and I know that crap happens at Christian schools too. But my experiences in teaching on pracs at state schools where soooo different to my experience in Christian schools.

I’ve seen things happen in state schools that made my heart hurt. Eleven and twelve year old kids talking about their sexual experiences, eight and nine year olds engaged in cutting and other self-mutilation, bullying that made me sick to my stomach, language that made my ears burn, six year olds throwing furniture and other objects at their teachers, kids so full of self-entitlement that the whole rest of the class suffers and loses the opportunity to learn. I know this stuff isn’t exclusive to state schools but in my experience it is definitely more rife, and in too many cases is accepted as normal, and shrugged off because people just don’t know what to do about it. Of course as a mother I want to shield my beautiful little girl from experiences like this, and put her into an environment where she can maintain her innocence for as long as possible. But I know that not all State schools are like this, and I don’t want to write off a whole sector of education based on these negative experience, when I now that there are some really fabulous government schools out there with dedicated and incredible teachers.

Then there is the money situation. From what I understand that Catholic system is slightly cheaper than your average independent school, and of course State schooling is supposedly ‘free’ – though I’m reading more and more reports from disgruntled parents sick of paying huge levies and other fees. We don’t exactly have heaps of spare money at this time, but if I believe that sending Mayana to a private school is going to be the best decision for her, then we will make it work – to me it is an investment in my child’s future, and well worth it. But it is definitely a consideration that needs to be made.

I guess I need to go to these schools and have them tell me why I should send my child there… what makes them the best choice… I need to see for myself.

It feels like such a big decision to me, and I’m not taking it lightly. I keep going over pros and cons in my head, and I’ve been praying about it a lot. Hopefully, Peter and I will be able to make a decision, and the right decision, and soon enough that we don’t miss out on the school that we choose!

I just can’t believe that we’re at this phase of our parenting already!!

us right now

I’ve been somewhat of a slack blogger lately, and I thought I’d just pop in a quick update of us, right now.

{Peter}

Peter has been working in Early Childhood almost all year now. He moved over to a new centre not long after Reuben was born, and love love LOVES it. He is the kindergarten teacher, and is thoroughly enjoying almost everything about his work (EC teachers have a LOT of paperwork – he’s not so in love with that!) and adores working with the age group. It makes me so happy to watch him going off to work each morning excited about his days.

He has introduced a lot of great stuff with his kids, including a literacy program – and is so proud that he will be sending almost all of his kids off to Prep next year with the ability to recognise all of their letters, tell you the sounds they make and recognise and write their own names!

Pete came home very excited last week because a brand new mobile interactive whiteboard had been delivered to his room. He mind instantly was full of exciting and engaging learning he could do with his kids using this great tool. Then on Monday this week, he was delivered four iPads and a new laptop also for use in his room! Add this to the mini computer-lab with three PC’s and his kindergarten classroom is more technologically advanced than most primary school classrooms I know of!!

His biggest time consumer at the moment is writing Transition Statements, which are basically like report cards that tell you where your kids are at in regards to the Kindergarten Curriculum before they start school. He has set himself such a high standard with these, and each one takes him hours. It’s paid off though, because he has gotten some really great feedback from his regional director, and been told that his are the best quality of any of the other centres in her care! I believe they’ve even been used as an example to some other teachers who are struggling with what to include.

I’m so proud of him, and all he has achieved and accomplished this year. I love how much he loves his students, and how hard he works to make sure that they are learning and playing and having FUN!

{Me}

As you know, I’m loving life as a stay at home mum. My days are filled with playgroups and playing with my kids, baking for my family and keeping house. I don’t know how I could possibly do everything that I’m doing AND work!

I am eligible to have (unpaid) maternity leave until term 2 in 2014, which is the year that Mayana starts school. Next year is her last at home, and I really don’t want to miss out on this special time with her. I have decided that I won’t be returning to work in 2013, at least on a full time basis. I’m considering putting in for relief work at some local schools, but only being available 1-2 days a week. I’m still undecided as to what I will end up doing in 2014… who knows, maybe by then we’ll be ready for a Baby Three!

I’ve also started doing Mary Kay. This is mainly because myself and my mum and sisters have fallen in love with the product, but it’s also turned out to be a great way to meet people and get out of the house and talk to adults (you know what I mean Mums, right?) and make a bit of pocket money. It’s just something a bit fun on the side.

Now that we’re mostly settled in our new home, I have a hankering to get back into my sewing and maybe see what I can do in reviving my little online business. We’ll see. I don’t want to get too deep into anything other than being a Mama for my two kids. They are definitely my number one priority.

{Mayana}

Mayana is growing up at an unbelievable rate. My heart hurts a little when I think about her turning four in a few short months. She’s definitely not my baby anymore.

She’s a genuinely delightful little girl, and I love spending time with her. She’s a real girl, and loves princesses and mermaids and fairies and all things pink. This year she has done a dance class on Tuesday afternoons, and her year’s work culminated in a concert last Sunday. I don’t think I’m being biased, but I’m pretty sure she was the cutest little dancer in her class. While not the youngest in her group, she is certainly the smallest, and just looks so darn cute in a little fluffy tutu, even if she is half a step behind everyone all the time!

Mayana still loves to learn, and is enthralled by letters. She is always saying things like, “dog…. d-dog starts with d. Dippy Duck (a letterland character for the letter d). What else starts with Dippy Duck? d-dump truck, d-dimple……” and so on. She’s so clever, I just want to do everything I can to stretch and challenge her and  make sure she doesn’t lose her love for learning.

Mayana still is at kindy two days a week. She really enjoys playing, and is benefiting from the social aspect of dealing with kids her own age. Next year she will advance to the Kindergarten room, and I’m looking forward to seeing how she enjoys that new level of learning. She’s already excited about going to Prep when she ‘gets five’, even though it makes me a bit teary thinking about it – yep, I think I’m going to be one of those parents!

For now though, I’m enjoying this all-to-short period of Mayana, my little girl, who still calls me mummy and loves nothing more than climbing into my lap with a book or six.

{Reuben}

This boy is also growing at a rate of knots. He’ll be seven months next week, and I’ll do a big post all about him then. He’s just delightful, and developing a very spunky personality. He’s baby-hood is whizzing by and I’m afraid that if I blink I’m going to miss it!! Like I said, lots more about our ReubsCubes and how he’s going next week!

So there you go, you’re all caught up!!

What have you been up to?

Times they are a-changin’

In two weeks, I will have finished my internship.

In three week, I will have handed in my last two assignments ever, and celebrated at an awesome graduation dinner with my uni mates. I will be a teacher!

In four weeks, our household items will be in boxes, in a storage shed somewhere.

In five weeks, we’ll be officially homeless, living with the in-laws, praying and crossing our fingers that everything turns out okay.

It’s blowing me away, the culmination of all this – of five years of hard, hard work; of being uni students with no money – stuck in a place where we never felt completely at home, three hours away from family we wished we were closer to… and in five short weeks, this chapter of our lives will come to a close.

Such a big ending – and such an unknown beginning. I never knew you could be filled with so much excitement and so much anxious dread at the same time.

Things I’m Thinking About…

It’s good to be home. There are many reasons I’m happy to be home. Here are some of them:

• sleeping in my own bed is heaven. Don’t get me wrong, the bed at Nana & Pop’s is good, but there’s just something perfect about sleeping in your own bed.
• We can choose what we want to watch on TV. And it doesn’t include 5 different news programs each night. And it does include Masterchef. Every night.
• Shops are close by. A month in ‘the bush’ has shown me that I’m more of a city girl at heart than I even knew. I missed the loveliness of retail therapy – with more choice than just IGA & Wayne’s World.

The weirdest thing about being home is that weird sense of not being able to feel ‘at home’. Because of another case of crap with our (not so) charming property agent. She did a routine inspection while we were away, then rang to let us know that she and the owner were disgusted with our home. This is why: There were three (clean but worn) nappies rolled up on the bathroom floor; A small basket’s worth of clothes on our bedroom floor; and (shock horror!) lots of stuff in our office, including a bag of brochures from the wedding expo, a bag of sewing stuff, and the gift bag which my birthday presents came in. That was all that was on the floor. To be fair, our office is kind of cluttered. You see, we had a baby, and she kind of took up our spare room. And I am a craft fiend with way too much scrapbooking, sewing and other miscellaneous crafting regalia. We are kind of growing out of this unit. Three’s a crowd in here. Oh, and the rest of our home was completely sparkling clean, by the way.

So yeah, I’ve been having minor anxiety attacks since the lovely phone call we had, to the point of actually throwing up. I hate the way this woman affect me. I think it’s the fact that she has a fairly significant element of control over such a huge part of my life. I’m reminding myself daily that no one has the right to make me feel vulnerable in my own home, and that as long as I am damaging no property and paying my rent, I can ‘keep house’ however I dang well please. Despite rude property managers.

We’ve signed up to 6 more months here, then we are out of here baby. It’s kind of nice to have a date on it. I just don’t want to resent my last few months here.

Moving on.

I miss my Nana and Pop. I liked hanging out with Nana and a cup of tea after school, and chatting about our days. Mayana misses them too. She was even asking for Nana yesterday.

I’m glad prac’s done. I did really well by the way – I got the highest mark you can get, and also got some great feedback. We’re almost sure that we’ll go back to the same school for our internships.  Now we have 2 assignments due in the next three weeks. We did about half of one today, and have barely looked at the other.

Mayana had an awesome first day back at daycare. She was so excited when we got there. She grinned and waved us goodbye without a backward glance. Apparently she was greatly missed, and her carers were all so happy to have her back. She was super happy today, as she got to play with bubbles (one of her favourite things in the world), and sing “Old MacDonald Had a Farm”, and show off all her animal noises to everyone. She can do pig, bird, duck, chook & dog. It’s very cute. Her other favourite song is that one about frogs singing ladi-dadi-da instead of galoomph galoomph galoomph. She’s so cute, she makes my heart explode!

It is cold in Toowoomba. Like, really cold. Our first night back it was 5 degrees, and last night it was 4. Every room in the house aside from our bedroom has been insulated, and you can really tell. It’s like sleeping inside a refrigerator. Time to pull out the electric blanket methinks. Mayana has been going to bed in a singlet suit, a wonder suit, flannelette pyjamas and a sleepy bag. She looks like a Michelin man, but she’s warm at least!

We’re going to Ikea in the morning. I’m pretty excited. I love Ikea. I didn’t get a mother’s day present this year (did I mention the lack of shopping opportunities in Dubsie-town?), so Pete promised me a trip to Ikea instead. The other weekend, we were online window-shopping on the Ikea website, when my mum sent me a random text message saying, “we’ve decided to go to Ikea today”. Slap in the face. Lol. We’re going to by an easel, and a table and chair for Mayana. I’m sure there will be a few other goodies that find their way to our trolley also.

And I think that’s about all that’s going on in that head of mine for now. And Pete wonders why I fob him off when he asks me what I’m thinking. Pfft. Too much to explain!!