lonely is so lonely alone

We’ve lived her for four years come January, and I still somehow feel like an outsider.

I’m not homesick like I used to be in the first year, when we’d come back from our numerous trips ‘home’ and I’d curl up on our bed and cry because I didn’t want to be here. I’m relaxed here now. I’m happy in my space, my house. And not unhappy in this town, just not totally happy. Lonely.

Sundays are hardest. Because growing up, Sundays, after church, we would almost always either have people over or go to someone’s house or do something. Here not so much. Maybe 3 times this year. If that.

And it just makes me a wee bit sad. I miss having PEOPLE! This is not a small town, but it totally has that small town vibe. It’s hard to get ‘in’. People have either lived here forever or are married to someone who has, and they have family and lives here.

Don’t get me wrong, we do have friends, there are people here that I will miss when we leave, I’m just not so sure that this town will miss me, or notice when we leave.

My gorgeous hubby is the best, and things would be crap without him. Most days he’s (and Mayana of course) all I have. We only see each other, speak to each other. And it’s great, I love him beyond anything, but sometimes I just wish I had a girlfriend.. someone who I could ring anytime- no wait, someone who would actually think to ring ME and want to spend time with me.

One more year. One more year.

Adding a new skill to my repertoire: Hairdressing

My Petey was getting a wee bit shaggy looking, and I decided he needed a hair chop before our family portrait sitting. Trouble is, he’s been slugging away at his last uni assignment and we ran out of time to go to an actual hairdresser. So yesterday, I bought some “hairdressing scissors” from Coles for $10.00 (inverted commas because I’m sure my hairdresser Mel would quit before using them on a client’s hair) and a hairdressing cape for $6.00, also from Coles. The scissors could definitely been sharper, but they did their job okay.

After dinner, I watched some youtube videos about cutting men’s hair. Hehe. I have cut Pete’s hair once before. It didn’t go particularly well. The scissors I was using were bluntish, and we ended up going and buying some el cheapo clippers to fix things. I hacked off the rest of Pete’s long bits with the kitchen scissors (*blush*) and then went to work with a ‘number 4’ blade. Trouble was, the stoopid el-cheapo clippers number four was more like a normal clippers number 1. Or less. It was bad. Please God let not my husband become bald, because it is not a good look for him. Anyway. We wanted to avoid a reoccurrence of this type of debacle. Hence my youtube hairdressing apprenticeship.

I asked Pete if he was sure he trusted me about a kazillion times. He cruelly made jokes about “there’s always the clippers in the bathroom cupboard”. Meanie. We spread out the plastic mat that goes under her highchair; set Pete up with a terry towel and the hairdressing cape; I armed myself with a fine-tooth comb, a water spray bottle and my Coles scissors; took a deep breath and started to cut. Pete sat patiently and calmly watching Beauty and the Geek and the Amazing Race while he experienced The Longest Haircut in History.

And I’m pleased to say, hit patience paid off. I did a pretty decent job, if I don’t say so myself: (please excuse the hairy man-ness, he can’t help it)

  

Spunky huh?

Things that bug me…

* My neighbour’s smoking that continuously wafts through my house all day. She goes out for a smoke almost every half hour. Our front doors are adjacent and less than 3 metres apart. I can even smell her cigarettes down the hallway in Mayana’s room when the wind is right. It SUCKS! I refuse to sit with all my windows shut all summer.

* The way my neighbour shrieks at her children all day. I would go and ask her if she could smoke around the corner in her garden or something, but I’m too scared of her yelling at me that way. I haven’t heard her speak to her children in anything but a harsh tone once. And I hear a lot of what she says because she’s always yelling it.

* People in those stands at the shops – the ones that want to try some handcream on you or sell you austar or something, and they nag at you to come and try stuff out/buy stuff. Don’t accost me when I’m trying to just do my shopping in peace. If I wanted to try your stupid product I would go over to you and ASK!

* The bill that I just got for the pathology for my recent pap smear. It’s for almost twice the amount my doctor told me it would be. Hopefully I’ll get some back from medicare.

* That my reindeer wall decal Christmas decoration isn’t sticking properly.

* The creatures that have taken residence in the roof in our bedroom. They keep me awake and drive me batty. I hope they inhale fibreglass fibres from our new insulation and die a painful death. Or at least eat the ratbait Pete put up there. And die a painful death.

* The fact that all the good shows are ending and crappy summer ratings TV is beginning.

And I think that’s about it for today.

Homemade Hommus

My Mayana-Berry loves hommus. So I decided to have a go at making our own. It’s really easy, and turned out great!

All you have to do pop the following into a food processor:

1 can chickpeas, 1-2 tablespoons tahini, juice of 1 lemon, garlic, 1-2 tablespoons olive oil, ground cumin seeds, paprika and salt.

Process until it’s dip consistency. That’s it!!! Start with 1 tablespoon of tahini and olive oil, and just add more if you need to make it more moist.

 

Yum!!!

my hands don’t stop

What’s that saying??? Something about idle hands being the devil’s playthings??? Never going to happen to me. Here’s what I’ve been playing with for the last few days:

A new case for my camera…

 

A new ‘sock’ for my phone…

And another handtowel. Which is headed for my Madeit shop. I’m also thinking of listing a few of my beaded bits and pieces over there.

We’re home again in Toowoomba. Missing the family but at the same time it’s nice to be in our own space doing our own thing again. Pete’s got an assignment to do that’s attached to the prac he just finished. It’s due next Friday but I’m really hoping he’s finished with it before then.

Next week sometime, it looks like we may be making a flying visit to the Gold Coast. Pete may have a very fortuitous day of work, which will do wonders to our Perth spending money stockpile.

Speaking of which (Perth, not the money) it’s only 19 more sleeps till we fly away! In that time I have soooo much to do. We’ve got family photos at Portrait Place on Friday; I’ve got to get in touch with the daycare centre I want to get Mayana into next year and see if I can get a spot/go on a waiting list to get a spot; get in touch with uni and enrol out of Arts and back into Education; begin planning Mayana’s first birthday party, as we only get home 2 weeks before it; finish off some beading christmas orders; catch up with uni friends before they all choof off to their new teaching lives… and there’s so much more around the house, sewing that’s calling me… cleaning that needs to be done… Plus we have to go out to Mundubbera for my cousin’s baby shower!!!  Phew!!!

Like I said… you won’t ever find these hands idle.

My beautiful sister…

Well my gorgeous lil sister Alexie had her school formal on Saturday. School is done and dusted for her… she is moving into a new era and is really growing up!

She looked so incredible on Saturday.. I couldn’t believe it was my little sister! She really did look so grown up and gorgeous… here’s the proof!

The gorgeous graduate. Featuring especially designed jewellery by yours truly, of course. I have to show you some photos of what I made for her… I’m pretty proud of it.     The whole family got to go out to pre-dinner drinks, so we all dressed to the nines and got some lovely family shots while we were at it.

My sisters, my daughter and I… the only good full-length shot I’ve got of Alexie on my camera.

The family. Mama, Bethanie, Papa, Alexie, Me + Mayana, Jordan, Pete, Lockey (B’s boyfriend).

Me with my gorgeous husband and daughter 

two gorgeous princesses…

10 months

The Mayana Berry was 10 months old on Wednesday. Double figures! I’m really loving this stage. I love every stage.. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed every different stage my baby has gone through so far. But this age is just SO much fun! Mayana has so much personality and she’s so cheeky and she’s just a lot of fun to have around.

She’s well and truly on the move. She can really take off when she’s crawling and she loves to hide and crawl under and through things. She really keeps us on our feet. She stands up on anything that stays still for long enough and walks around holding onto furniture and loves her walker. She can stand up on her own in the middle of the floor and can take one step. I don’t think walking is too far away!

She is so cheeky and his this most awesome crooked smile that she pulls when she knows she’s being a little bit naughty. It’s hard to be stern with her when she pulls that one! She’s really starting to understand what we’re saying to her and responding to us. For example, she constantly puts things in her mouth, but now, if we go up to her and say, “Mayana spit it out!” she immediately pokes her tongue out and spits whatever it was into our hands. If you ask her for a cuddle she snuggles into you, puts her little arms around you and pats your shoulder, as if to say, “I love you!”.

Her favourite word is “Jack!” which means dog. Jack is one of my parent’s dogs and Mayana loves him. So now, all dogs are Jack- any shape or size. Even if she hears a dog bark across the street she will sit up and point and exclaim, “JACK!!!”. The other day a barking dog woke her up early in the morning and we hear her over the monitor mumbling, “Jack… Uh-Uh Jack!!” in her croaky morning voice. It was so cute!

She also says (in context), Mama, Papa, Opa, dat (that- when pointing at things), dere (there- when we play peek-a-boo..- as in there she is!), ta, and Bah- (which is the word we say when she does a stinky nappy).

She is obsessed with her Kami (my mum). If she has to make a choice between Mama and Kami, Kami wins almost every time. She also thinks Opa is pretty special, and thinks Oom Jordan is hilarious. My brother and sisters love how she recognises and knows exactly who they are now, and has little games and things that she does especially with each of them.

She learns so much every day and every day is just a huge adventure with her. She finds everything so exciting.

She really is such a delightful child. There’s no other way to put it. She lights up a room with her cheeky toothy grin and massive baby-blues. She loves freely and fully and melts my heart every day.

There is nothing better than the feeling of those chubby little arms creeping around my neck as she snuggles into me, patting my back.

I love her to bits, and I would not have life any other way.

Happy 10 months, precious daughter of mine.

Proud doesn’t even cut it!

(Alexie front row, fourth from right)

Last night my precious littlest sister Alexie officially graduated year twelve. I can’t even believe it. She’s so grown up and gorgeous and I’m so proud of her.

She won an armful of awards, including the prestigious Peter Slipper award for contribution to the Arts. She duxed a few of her subjects. And she also achieved her Certificate III in Music! She’s awesome! 

(Alexie, middle front)

Alexie, I’m so proud of you babe, you have so much in your future, and I can’t wait to see what you achieve! I also can’t wait to see you all dolled up for your formal on Saturday. You’re going to be soooo HOT!

  I’m also proud of my lil bro Jordan. He also won a swag of awards last night, including duxing a few of his subject. But most impressively, my little brother has been elected Vice Captain of the College for 2010!!! Go Jordan!

(Jordan, the one in the middle of the photo, showing off, as per usual)

So if my head looks big right now, you’ll know why…

too close to home

This week, two people have been killed on Sunshine Coast roads. On some of the exact roads that my family travels on every single day. Roads that I have travelled on, with my baby, a number of times over the last week.

I saw one of the accidents, my sister saw the other. We didn’t see them happen, we saw the aftermath. And I wish we didn’t.

It feels too close to home, knowing that these were just normal people, driving in normal cars, travelling normal roads that we travel all the time. They got out of bed, went about their days.. would you ever suspect it would be your last? I wouldn’t.

Please everyone, drive safely. Be aware of what’s going on around you. It’s just happening too much lately, we don’t need any more people to be killed on our roads.

crochet queen

Okay, so maybe not. I’m just a beginner afterall.. but I’ve unleashed a beast. I LOVE crocheting! Endless possibilities… I’m a little addicted.

Aside from my cutsie crocheted flower headbands, this is some of what I’ve been doing:

My first ‘granny square’. I’ve been finding awesome patterns and youtube vids and teaching myself. I’m not sure what to do with this. I was thinking a scarf, but I bought el-cheapo wool to play with and I think it will be a bit scratchy. I might make a few more and make it into a cushion cover or something. Cute though, huh?

Grandma hand-towel. I love these. They’re super useful. We use them in both the kitchen and the bathroom. My Great-Grandma gave me a whole stack of them just before she died (which was just before I got married) and the ones she gave me have just about worn through. I got my Nanna to make me a stack more, and then decided that I wanted to learn how to do it too. She obligingly taught me. I actually remember her trying to teach me when I was about eight, once I got knitting down-pat. She got frustrated and gave up, because apparently I hold the crochet-hook wrong. But it works for me, and I got the hang of it quickly this time.

This handtowel is headed to the lovely Amy. I’m thinking of whipping up a few more and putting them on my madeit shop.

Any excuse to crochet! 

busy like a busy bee

Hello blog. Sorry for being sooooo neglectful lately. I’ve been so buys. So much to do. We’re staying on the coast at the moment, Pete’s doing prac.

I’m busy being a Mama as always. The Mayana Berry has been particularly inquisitive lately, and is doing lots of new things. Tomorrow, she will be 10 months old!! Amazing!

I’ve also been busy making. I’ve got some jewellery orders to work on, including formal jewellery for my lil sister’s formal on Saturday. She graduates tomorrow!!! I’ve also become slightly addicted to crocheting. It’s so cool!

I started off with making handtowels.. you know like the ones grandmas make … a tea towel with the crocheted top that buttons over the oven handle?? I’ll have to take some photos of the ones I’ve done. My Nanna taught me how to do it. Then she taught me to make flowers, and I have used them to add to my collection of baby headbands and hairclips for sale! Now I’m thinking about Christmas decorations, camera pouches… the lists are endless!

I’ve also made a prototype of a sleeping bag. Mayana will be keeping this one, it’s not quite right but it’s helped me figure out how to make it perfect. So at some stage I’m hoping to get more of them made. I also have to work on Mayana’s Christmas dress so it’s ready for her to wear for our family portrait which is booked for when we get home.

So unfortunately my poor little blog is being neglected. But once all these projects are completed, this blog won’t know what’s hit it with all the pics I’ll have for it!

So stay tuned…

In the meantime, go check out my madeit store: www.madeit.com.au/particularlyzoey and have a look what I’ve been working on!

Zoey x

I love breakfast dates

My gorgeous husband took me out to breakfast today! Mayana berry is with her Kami and Opa. This is what's left of our strawberries and honeyed cream... Yum! Now off to the movies. I love dates!

I just finished reading…

‘A Pocketful of Pearls’ by Shelley Bates. I really enjoyed it.

It tells the tale of Dinah Traynell, a woman brought up in the (fictional) cult/sect, “The Elect”. It’s one of those sects that are “Christian” but do not live a Christ-like life. Where the men are basically God’s mouthpiece and the women are nothing much. The leader of their area is called ‘The Shepherd’, and he is seen as their direct link to God. I promise you, he is not a Godly man.

The beginning of the story sees Dinah at her father’s funeral. Her sister has recently been ‘silenced’ (shunned) as she became pregnant outside of marriage. Her mother has major issues, and the two of them don’t get along. Enter Matthew Nichols. He appears this night, and Dinah decides to employ him as a hired man. He is actually a professor, but after a false accusation of sexual abuse, he lost his job and decided to go on a road trip. However, his car broke down, and his savings quickly dwindled, and by the time he gets to Dinah he is looking quite vagrant-like, is starving and needs help.

In a series of twists and turns the two of them somehow manage to help each other through weird times in each of their lives, including when Dinah’s sister abandons her baby to their care.

There’s some pretty full-on themes in the story, some crazy cult-related happenings.

I really quite enjoyed reading it. And whilst adding it to my Shelfari bookshelf, I discovered that it’s actually part of a trilogy… so I will have to keep an eye out!

The Cruicible

Yesterday I got the opportunity to go to Brisbane with my brother and sister’s school and see “The Cruicible” at the QPAC theatre. I used to go to lots of live theatre with my school drama classes. Lots. I’ve been to nearly none since finishing school. It’s so sad. And yesterday I realised how much I miss it!

The Cruicible was fantastic. It’s not a fun story, it’s pretty dark and has some intensely deep themes, but it definitely makes you think. And it was SO well done. The actors were fantastic, the set and lighting was amazing…. I just loved having the opportunity to experience it. There were some pretty renowned actors in it too. The gorgeous James Stewart, who plays Jake in “Packed to the Rafters”, Paul Bishop who used to be Ben in “Blue Heelers” and Andrew Buchanan who starred in Sea Patrol for a few seasons, as well as a number of seasoned stage actors who have been around for a long time. Pretty cool huh!? James Stewart is seriously hunky. All the highschool girls majorly swooned when he walked on the stage. He played the Reverend Hale for those who know the story, and did a fabulous job.

The story is crazy. You just can’t get over the ridiculousness of it, but when you think about it, it happens every day in our society, in our media.. If you don’t know the story, click the link up there and have a read. Or I’m pretty sure there’s a movie version of it you could hire out.

If you have seen/read it… tell me what you think.. Was witchcraft REALLY rife in the Salem? Were the girls really seeing/being affected by spirits, or did their make-believe just become hysteria, each of them fuelling the others into ever greater delusions. Did they really see anything that day in the forest, or did they just pretend it all so they wouldn’t get in trouble for dancing naked? Or was there magic mushrooms in the ‘brew’? So many questions.. so much unresolved.. what’s your take?

I’m leaning towards the magic mushrooms delusions. Making up stories to get themselves out of trouble. It all starting off as a game and spiralling out of control to a point where it was too huge for the girls to reel back in. And I think Abigail was just vindictive and evil.

Either way.. the insanity of it all is overwhelming. Condemning good and decent Christian people to death over the claims of silly girls. Freeing them if they ‘confess’ to once working for the devil but having now turned back to God, murdering them if they stand firm in their convictions and insist that they have only ever been good, Christian people. Hanging anyone who realises what is going on and dares to stand up and question the courts. Craziness!

Oh I love the theatre. I really should make the effort to go much more often.

We treed.

You may remember we were trying to decide whether or not to put our Christmas tree up early… Well we decided yes. I’ve never put a Christmas tree up this early, but I wanted to get a chance to enjoy it before we go on our Big Trip.

We’re off tomorrow to the Coast for two weeks for Pete to do prac, so decided to do our Christmas decorating today and come home to a beautiful Christmasy house.

Pete always puts our tree together. It’s such a great tree. We got given it for our first Christmas together the year we got married. We originally had this tiny little poxy second-hand one that was only big enough to set up on a table or something. Anyway, I was so excited about Christmas – we were having it at our house – and some friends from church heard me going on about it. My mum told them about my little sad pathetic tree, and next thing I know they drop around this gorgeous great big brand-new one! Mind you it took up nearly half of our little granny-flat back then, but we loved it. Still do. 

I have always decorated the TV unit since our first Christmas. It’s my little tradition. Pete thinks I’m funny, sticking dress-makers pins into the cabinet to hang my little Christmas bears, but I think they’re cute.

This wall decal is my newest decoration. I bought it at the cheap shop in Mundubbera for around $4.00! Cute huh?

We have a plastic pink el-cheapo star on our tree. I’m going to invest in a new and gorgeous one at the post-Christmas sales for next year.

Ta-daaa!!! Pretty huh?? We have a kind of pink and green theme. Can’t imagine who would have chosen those colours, can you? It’s a bit pink heavy at the bottom, as they’re our plastic baubles, which we thought it would be safest to have at Mayana-height. I’m really happy with our tree this year! I think it looks great. Pete wants to get some more lights for it though, so once that’s done I’ll take a piccie at night.

 

These are some of our special decorations. We each have a bauble with our names (I have a purple one to make up with Mayana’s name). The spiky bauble is one I made myself. They’re so easy to do, and look really great on the tree. And our ‘Just Married’ bauble, which I made for our first Christmas.

We put the tree up while Mayana was having her morning nap. She was so excited when she saw it. She kept saying, “Dere!” (There) and pointing at it, and “Dat!” (That) as she touched various decorations.  We are able to block of the area where it is, so hopefully we won’t have too many runaway decorations!

Ah I love Christmas!!!!

I just finished reading…

Abraham’s Well, by Sharon Ewell Foster. Fantastic book. I honestly couldn’t put it down, and read it from start to finish in less than 24 hours!

It follows the story of Armentia, a young Cherokee Indian girl, through her life of hardship and tragedy. Armentia and her family are slaves (owned by other Indians). They live a happy life, until the government announces its decision to relocate all Indian people across the country ‘for their own good’. They, along with thousands of others make the journey, over 1000 miles on the ‘trail of tears’. Later, Armentia is sold (as a slave), on two separate occasions. Throughout this time she also suffers the loss of her beloved brother, father and later, mother. She lives through the American civil war (losing even more people dear to her), and eventually becomes a free woman.

It’s an incredibly sad tale, based on true events. I was completely unaware of a lot of what is told in this book. I was very interested in the history of the Indian people, and the similarities between what happened to them and what took place here with Indigenous Australians. It’s truly unimaginable and inconceivable.

I really enjoyed the book, and would highly recommend it, especially if you’re a fan of historical fiction. My only ‘con’, is that the last quarter or so of the book seemed far too rushed, too much happened in too short of a space, which made it feel a bit contrived.

But overall, a great read. Good story, believable characters, and I learned some really interesting stuff!

the me that he knows...

he being Pete. My husband. I pinched this idea from Talia, who pinched it from Leila.
So sit back, relax and enjoy a guest post from my gorgeous husby !

1. What is something your wife always says to you?

Foo... can you please get me/do/go and [insert instruction here]......... <---- Okay, I'm allowed to comment on these answers because it's my blog and I make the rules. Foo is a weird pet-name that I have for Pete and I'm not entirely sure where it came from. But it's stuck. And yes, I might be sometimes just a teensy widdle bit bossy *blush*.

2. What makes your wife happy?

Our daughter's smiles and cuddles... or me coming home with a bunch of flowers. <--- awww... so true. Though I think I forget what it feels like to have you come home with a bunch of flowers!

3. What makes your wife sad?

When she doesn't get to see her family for ages. As in more than three weeks. :P <--- that's meant to be a little 'tongue pokie-outie thing', in case you're wondering.

4. How does your wife make you laugh?

By being silly and mucking around with me.

5. What was your wife like as a child?

A genius. Cos she could talk (like in sentences) when she was one and read (chapter books) by the time she was five.

6. What is her favourite thing to do?

Anything related to craft work. At the moment crocheting. Beading. Sewing. Scrapbooking. Cross-stitch. <--- yes, we have a LOT of my 'stuff' everywhere in this house. Thank the Lord for my supportive husband.

7. What does your wife do when you’re not around?

the same things she does when I am around..... I think. <---- hmmm... are you sure?? hehe.

8. If your wife becomes famous, what will it be for?

Designing baby clothes and accessories. Or one or other of her craft ventures.

9. What is your wife really good at?

See question 8, and 6. And blogging.

10. What is your wife not very good at?

Sport. Or anything sport related, like playing tennis on the wii, or watching sport on TV. She can't do it. <--- Sport?? What's that???

11. What does your wife do for her job?

University student. And is the best mother she can be. <--- plus I look after my husband.

12. What is your wife’s favourite food?

spaghetti, butter chicken, thai food.

13. What makes you proud of your wife?

I'm proud of everything she does.

14. If your wife were a cartoon character, who would she be?

I can't think of any that matches up to her...

15. What do you and your wife do together?

Everything. <---- This is pretty much true. We spend almost all our time together and really do everything together.

16. How are you and your wife the same?

we have lots of similar interests, enjoy the same TV shows, movies, foods, people...

17. How are you and your wife different?

I do like sport.

18. How do you know your wife loves you?

When she comes up and gives me big cuddles at random times, or snuggles up to me when we watch TV, or gives me kisses.

19. Where is your wife’s favourite place to go?

Ravensbourne National Park. Or wherever her family is.

Awww... isn't he a sweetie-pie. No wonder I love him to bits.