We Are Four

Here is Part Two of my “Reuben Story”…

Reuben and I spent a wonderful hour of skin-to-skin time. My little boy crawled up my chest, mouthing and looking for food – which he found before too long, and attached perfectly in his very first attempt. He also peed all over me, which was very charming. Peter got the opportunity to cut the cord, and Heather showed me the ins and outs of my plancenta – which is something I would have loved to have seen after Mayana was born but hadn’t gotten the chance... Amazing by the way!!

Reuben

Mayana

Reuben looked exactly like Mayana did when she was placed on my chest. It was uncanny really, could have been the same baby! And so much for all of the doctor’s and sonographer’s predictions that this baby was going to be a lot bigger than his sister. Heather predicted straight away that he weighed less than six pounds, and when our skin-to-skin time was up, and he was finally placed on the scales, we discovered that she was in fact correct. Reuben weighed in at 2570g or 5lbs 11oz. He was 43cm long, with a head circumference of 33cm (exactly the same as his sister). “Ha!” I proclaimed, “Perhaps now the doctor’s will just believe me that I have small children and will leave me alone about Mayana!!”

My parents arrived at the hospital as we were nearly finishing skin to skin, and Reuben got to meet his Kami and Opa. They had cuddles after the weigh-in, and I filled Mum in on some of the details of the birth. We were all a bit in shock that it had all happened and that Reuben was here! I was supposed to be at work!!

I unfortunately had to have stitches again – I tore on the scar-line left from Mayana’s birth... having stitches is seriously is my least favourite part of birthing a baby. Thankfully that was all over fairly quickly, and after showering and getting Alexie to apply some make up, I felt human again, and ready to pose for photos with my beautiful son.

Reuben with Lala, whose hands he was born into!

We spent the afternoon just enjoying our baby, and anticipating the moment when Mayana arrived to meet her baby brother. A friend had dropped her off to my sister Bethanie at school, and she was bringing Mayana to the hospital. Once she had been dropped off, Bethanie rang me to let me know that no one had told her the big news, and it was my pleasure to be the one to announce it on the phone. “Mayana, guess what!?” I said. “Baby Two isn’t in my tummy anymore, he was born today and he’s ready for you to give him a big cuddle. You’re a big sister now!!”. Silence. Bethanie later told me that her mouth had dropped open and her face was clearly processing this new information. Eventually I asked her, “Mayana, what do you think honey?”
“It’s good!” she replied. Then she handed the phone to Bethanie and I heard her telling whoever was with her that Baby Two was here!

It was a long half hour waiting for them to arrive at the hospital, and the moment I had been waiting for didn’t disappoint. Mayana’s face was completely priceless. She sat in my lap with Reuben in her lap, kissing his head, examining his fingers (“They’re so tiny Mama!”), and saying over and over, “Awwww, he’s so cute!” She also spontaneously started singing to him:

I love you, a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck, and a hug around the neck
A hug around the neck, and a barrel and a heap
A barrel and a heap and I’m talking in my sleep
About you... about who? About YOU!

Seriously, most beautiful moment ever.

We showed Reuben off to my sister and her husband, and later in the afternoon two of my friends from work came to visit. I loved that people came to visit in hospital, it was so much fun to introduce our gorgeous boy to people, and it helped things to sink in for me. It was so surreal to me that it had all happened. I should have been at work that day! I literally felt like I was in a dream, and that any second I would wake up to the Thursday morning alarm telling me to get ready for school.

When we were taken to our room, I asked the midwife if I would be able to go home that evening. The hospital has a policy that the minimum time you have to stay is 6 hours, and I really wanted to go home. I know a lot of mums enjoy the time out in hospital, but I knew I would be more relaxed and happier at home, and I also was in one of the few share-rooms at the hospital (they were soooo busy while I was there), and  I didn’t much fancy spending the night in a room with a stranger. Unfortunately we were told that the paediatricians were just about done for the day and didn’t have time to see me (a paed has to check your baby out before you’re allowed to leave) and that they would prefer me to stay a night anyway given that he was a little early and had a small birth weight. Peter stayed with us until about 9pm, and I settled in on my plastic bed hoping to get a bit of sleep.

Our night in hospital was long. Reuben slept impressively well, but everyone else’s baby cried. The midwives who were on night shift were so great. They arranged for me to do the Healthy Hearing Test, and other discharge requirements through the night, so that basically all we had to do was have the paed check to go home in the morning.

At 10am a nurse came and told me that the paediatricians would be there to see me within an hour. The hour passed, and then another, then another. My mum, sister, brother, Mayana and Peter arrived just after 11, and we all sat in my tiny part of our room and waited. I started to get kind of stir crazy. It was so hot in there, and dimly lit (I was on the side of the room with no window), and the bed was very uncomfortable. I just wanted to go home! The paediatrician finally arrived at 2.30pm, and was with us for about 10 minutes before he said we could go. Ugh. It was SUCH a relief to finally be on our way. I just wanted to be home with my new little family of four.

Reuben in his carseat, on the way home!

Being home has been great. We have all settled in really well, and are enjoying our new addition. My mum stayed for the first 5 days, and we really loved having her here. Reuben is doing so well.

We had midwives come out to us until day 5, and they were really great. On Sunday, the midwife was a bit concerned about Rueben’s weight loss. It is normal for babies to drop below their birth weight, but he had dropped more than the 10% that is considered okay. We had to go on a strict three-hourly feeding schedule, and top up with a 40mL bottle after each breastfeed. It was my choice whether we used expressed milk or formula. I initially wanted to use expressed, but the more I thought about it the more I remembered how much I had disliked expressing milk with Mayana, and decided that I didn’t need to give myself reasons to stress. We bought some sachet samples of formula, and some new bottles, and topped up feeds for 24 hours. It wasn’t ideal by any means, but I wanted to get through the situation without landing up with the level of stress and anxiety I had when we went through weight issues with Mayana.  I asked our church family to be praying for us; I didn’t want to go through the same weight issues that I had with Mayana again. The next day, the midwife weighed Reuben again, and discovered that he had gained 200g, in 24 hours. I have no doubt that this was an answer to prayer.

Since then we have not had to do any formula  feeds, and Reuben has been feeding like an absolute champion. By day 5, he was back up to his birth weight and we were out of the woods.

Reuben is a very contented baby, and has been sleeping really well. Even in his awake time he is very relaxed and placid, and only really cries when he has to have his nappy changed... he does not think much of being exposed.

His big sister completely adores him. I hear the words, “Mummy I love Reuben” about 26,000 times a day, and in true Mayana fashion she has already nicknamed him Reubs. (She shortens everyone’s name.. Kami becomes Kam, Papa becomes Pap, Lala becomes La – and my favourite – Opa has recently become Op). She loves to give him cuddles, and helped me give him bottles in our 24 hour feeding frenzy. The sweetness of that moment helped to make the problem a little more bearable.


It’s hard to believe that our little treasure has only been in our lives for less than two weeks. It feels like he has been part of us forever. We love getting to know him, and are enjoying getting to find out what ‘us’ means now that we are four.

Behold, A Son

We are settling in with our gorgeous new son, and loving our time as a family of four. Reuben is an absolute delight, and I already can’t imagine our family without him.

I’m struggling to believe that today he is a week old. In some ways, it feels like he’s been part of us forever, and yet this week has gone by in the blink of an eye.

It’s also very strange for me that he still isn’t technically ‘supposed’ to be here. This week was meant to be my first week of maternity leave. The first of two weeks of just me and my girl, before it all began. Apparently Reuben had other plans, and they haven’t turned out to be so bad at all.

I started writing my birth story while I was in labour. I had the need to do something with my brain apart from thinking about what was happening. So I stood up at my computer desk and between contractions I started writing about our morning. I’ve been adding to the story over the last week, and I was shocked when I looked at the page count and saw that I’m up to page five, and I still haven’t written everything down that I need to.

So I’ve decided to break the story down into parts, and share it with you in smaller pieces. In the interest of full disclosure, my birth recount is quite detailed, and is primarily written for me, so feel free to skip past parts (or all of it!) if you want to.

With that in mind, here is part one of my birth story… the part where Reuben was born:

______________________________

On the evening of the 18^th of April I had a few period pain type contractions. They were reasonably mild, but stronger than Braxton Hicks or the light cramping I had been having for a few days. They were very irregular, but definitely made their presence known. They eased by the time I went to bed.

Throughout the night I was vaguely aware of a few more of these types of contractions. I think it was around 4am or so (didn’t check the time) that I felt quite a strong one. I went to the toilet, back to bed and slept between waking up feeling the cramps. Just before 6am I decided to start timing them. They were very irregular, and not very strong. Mayana fell out of bed and came into our room, so Pete woke up properly and I told him. It wasn’t too long before they started to feel stronger. I went to the toilet, and found some bloody mucous. I called out to Pete and asked him to call the midwife, while I went for a shower. I had a few mild contractions in the shower. The midwife said just to start timing, and that the mucous is a good sign that things are really on the move.

She said I would know when it was time to come. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t.

I got very emotional while in the shower, and had a good cry. Pete called his work and my work, and my parents (because we had asked my youngest sister to be a birth support partner). We had to organise what to do with Mayana. I was so torn between wanting this not to be the real thing (it’s too early, I’m not ready – my bag isn’t packed, car seat isn’t ready etc etc), but also thinking that I couldn’t go through this if it was going to turn out to be a false alarm. I found out that the news I was in labour had made it into the staff notices for the day, and started to feel like I thought I would feel like SUCH a dork if this all was false, and nothing was going to end up happening.

After my freak out in the shower I got dressed, and we asked Mayana what she wanted for breakfast. She didn’t want cereal or eggs, she wanted to eat the pikelets I had made the night before to take to the ‘Farewell Zoey’ morning tea we were meant to be having at work. I figured that would be fine, I definitely wouldn’t taking them to work that day!

So we went out onto the deck and ate pikelets with cream and jam for breakfast. My mum rang me while we were out there, and I had another couple of contractions on the phone. They were getting stronger and longer, but still not at regular intervals. I cried again when I was talking to my mum, but felt a lot calmer when I got off the phone. I went to the toilet again and found more lumps of blood-tinged mucous. At this point I became fairly well convinced that this was indeed the real thing.

We got Mayana ready for Kindy, and I told Pete that before we took her I wanted the three of us to have a walk around the Rose Gardens across the road from us. We wandered over, and while we were there my contractions started to become more regular. When walked back home, I rang my sister and told her she had better start driving, it was definitely the real thing.

It was very strange indeed to take Mayana to Kindy and tell her teachers, “Someone else is going to be picking Mayana up today, I’m actually in labour at the moment!” They were all very excited and asked us to call with the news.

We dropped into the shopping centre on the way home to get a few last things for the hospital and nappy bags. While we were in the car, my contractions slowed off considerably, but I had a few fairly intense ones once I was walking around again at the shops.

We got home, and the contractions had settled to around 5 minutes apart. It’s funny, when we moved to this house, one of the first things I said was how wonderful the huge claw-foot bath would be for labouring in. However, I had absolutely no desire to go in the bath, which was strange because it was the only place I wanted to be with Mayana. This time, I need to be up. I had to walk each contraction out, and found great relief in leaning over the veranda rail and swaying my hips.

We went about finishing off packing the bags, and doing some general tidying up and getting ready. At one point I had a sudden wave of exhaustion, and hunched over a pile of pillows on the bed. I had a really massive contraction while I was there and suddenly my whole headspace changed, and I realised I needed to go to the hospital. The midwife was right after all, I would ‘just know’. I felt that if we didn’t go now, things would move with too much intensity for me to handle the car ride.

Contractions in the car sucked. There’s no other word for it. I had been up on my feet the whole time so far, and sitting down through contractions and not being able to move through them was almost unbearable. The whole 25-ish minute drive, I had contractions between 1.5-2 minutes apart. Pete put our Sons of Korah music on, and I tried my very best to sing through the contractions, but I think it came out more as groaning. I also discovered great satisfaction in squeezing Pete’s hand. Especially in the last third of our trip, the contractions started to come at a whole new intensity, and I would groan and squeeze Pete’s hand through the whole thing, and when it ended I would say, “Sorry Pete!!!”, and he would laugh and tell me not to say sorry.

We f i n a l l y got to the hospital; the next challenge was finding a park. There are a lot of perks to having a baby in the middle of the day instead of the middle of the night, but the lack of available car parks was probably the big downside. We ended up parked up some little street across the road from the hospital, which meant a bit of a walk to the hospital, and of course the maternity ward is right at the back of the hospital! A little while and about six contractions later (at least I could walk them out now) we made it. We got shown to a birthing suite and told a midwife would be with us shortly.

Our midwife’s name was Heather, and let me just tell you she was incredible. I had no birth plan in place, (another thing I was going to do this week), but it didn’t matter at all... Heather just let things happen the way they were going to. She checked the baby’s heartbeat with a monitor externally – didn’t strap me up to a CTG the way they had with Mayana, but just held it on my tummy for a contraction. She kept me very calm, and engaged me in small talk conversation between contractions to help keep my mind straight (I found this really great – it helped me keep a much clearer headspace). Heather didn’t require or even request to do an internal examination until I asked for one. I think I had been there for around half an hour (Alexie had arrived by then) when I asked if she could check how far along I was. I know that dilation isn’t necessarily a fool-proof way of gauging how far you have to with a labour, but I felt the need to know. It was a gamble in my own head, I knew that if the number was ‘good’ it would urge me on, but if the number happened to be low it would be very discouraging.

Heather told me that I was at 7cm, but that the baby’s head still wasn’t engaged at all – it was still moving about up in the pelvis. The membranes however were bulging during contractions, and she felt that once they broke, he would drop into place quite quickly. Let the labour continue...

I have to say, it really is true the whole thing about you forgetting how much it all hurts once you have your baby. This second time around, the pain of it was so shocking to me that I realised I had truly forgotten how bad it could be. With each contraction I would lean over the bed, groan, and sway or rock my hips. I would squeeze poor Alexie’s hand (really, really hard if my still-aching hands four days later are anything to go by!!) and demand that Pete massage my lower back. I got so much relief out of Pete massaging me, I kept asking him to press harder and harder, until he was worried I would be bruised later (I am a little!) but it was so worth it!

I spent a while in the shower, on my feet, leaning on the shower rail with my head pressed against the wall. I requested ice-chips, and Alexie would stuff handfuls of them into my mouth between contractions. I had the water in the shower so hot that after a while I felt like I was going to pass out from the steam, so Heather suggested coming back out into the room for a while. She knew I was getting tired, and encouraged me to rest my head on the bed and close my eyes between contractions. I was mostly still standing at this point, although I do recall spending a few contractions on my knees leaning over the back of the raised bed. I hated being on the bed though, and despite my exhausted jelly-legs, chose to get back onto my feet and into my hip-rocking position before too long. I can honestly and truly say that the thought of pain relief never entered my mind during this labour. The idea of gas was abhorrent to me, I had hated so much how weird it made my head feel when I had it during Mayana’s labour, and I just didn’t want to go there. And epidural... honestly I never even considered it for a split second this time. I’m pretty proud of that, I’m not gonna lie.

With one contraction in particular, I felt the baby drop, and a whole lot of pressure starting to accompany the pains. Heather said she really wanted the waters to rupture before I tried pushing, and I knew my body wasn’t quite ready to push anyway. I went back into the shower for a while, but I was starting to become very tired and losing my birthing mojo. The pressure was definitely increasing, but those waters weren’t going anywhere. (I have to mention at this point how relieved Pete was that my waters didn’t break at home or in the car. He had a deadly fear that this would happen – particularly the latter. He asked if I thought he should buy a shower curtain for the car - I was highly offended – and he wouldn’t let me sit in there until he had put a towel down... haha).

Anyway, so I asked Heather if she could check me again, and if she would be able to break my waters if she thought I was far enough. She agreed to have a feel of how far the baby had moved, and if things felt right she would break my waters. So back up on the bed I went. I was fully dilated now, and baby had definitely moved down. Heather warned me that if she broke my waters, it would move things along very quickly, and I needed to prepare myself for pushing. Um, no worries!! It felt such a relief when my waters first broke, but this was quickly replaced by the “moving along very quickly” that Heather had warned me of. We were at the pointy end of things now! Heather told me just to listen to my body. Relax through the contractions instead of tensing myself up, and let my body push when it needed to. I’m not sure how long this part of my labour lasted for. I remember that I was holding my breath at one stage and ended up somehow hyperventilating a little. I had the weirdest sensation of tingling pins and needles all over my body – literally from my teeth to my toes – and particularly bad in my hands. My hands seemed to get stuck in this weird claw-like position, and I kept saying that I couldn’t move them. I could move them, I could slightly bend my fingers, but for the life of me I could not straighten them, or even shake them to loosen them up. It was so weird, and I remember Pete, Alexie and Heather all saying that they could see me moving them, and I couldn’t explain to them what I meant!

It wasn’t too long before I realised my body was ready to push in earnest. Heather talked me through it and encouraged me. I remember this time feeling that ‘ring of fire’ sensation 100 times worse than I ever did with Mayana. Heather told Peter and Alexie to look at the baby’s head starting to crown. I was still squeezing their hands at this point, and Alexie asked me if it would be okay if she was down at the ‘business end’ of things. I said yes, and Heather said that if it was okay with me, Alexie could deliver the baby! Of course, it was okay with me. Alexie quickly went to get gloves on, as it was not going to be long now. A couple more pushes and that head was out. I psyched myself up, trying to get the idea into my head that another few contractions and my baby would be in my arms! Another contraction came, and along with it that incredible sensation that comes with your baby leaving your body. That combination of intensity and pain and relief and overwhelming joy that happens all at once. Our son was born into the hands of his aunty and godmother (the first of many babies to be born into those very capable hands), then placed on my chest straight away, I looked at my husband and saw tears of joy running down his cheeks. I remember crying out, “I love you little boy” and then quickly looking at the other three and asking, “Is it a boy???”

Pete and Alexie confirmed that yes, it indeed was, while Heather told us that she didn’t know, she always forgets to look! We all were immediately enamoured with this slippery, squirming, squeaking little being who was lying on my chest. We were all telling him that we loved him and we were so happy to meet him. I looked at Pete and asked him what our son’s name was. We had two names on our list, but the one we chose was always the forerunner. We had always wanted to use both of the middle names, but hadn’t settled for sure on which order we would put them. Peter looked at me and said, “Reuben. Rueben John Alexander.” And so it was.

Our gorgeous little Reuben John Alexander was born about two-and-a-half weeks early, on the 19^th of April 2012 at 1pm, two hours after arriving at the hospital.

Reuben // Behold, a son
John // By the grace of God
Alexander// Defender and protector of men

Introducing…

Birth story coming soon…

Zoey xx

Nesting

I was 37 weeks pregnant on Saturday. That means there are less than three weeks until we will meet our son. I’m not going to lie, I wouldn’t be upset if he decided to make a slightly earlier appearance (though I’m not holding my breath).

I think I feel bigger than I was with Mayana. I think this baby is bigger than his sister. The crazy movements I feel this time… I don’t remember so much from last time!

We had a busy weekend finally getting things organised. I think I’ve hit the nesting stage, but it mostly feels good to feel like we’re actually prepared for this baby to arrive.

We have moved Mayana into the room across the hallway from us, and she will be sharing it with her baby brother when he arrives. We both feel really great to have her that much closer to us, and she is very excited about sharing with Baby Two. She is also quite enamoured with the fact that she now has a playroom.

Here’s what we accomplished on the weekend. I wish I had before shots, but I didn’t think that far ahead. Also excuse the quality of the photos, they were taken in bad lighting on my iPhone.

We turned Mayana’s old room into the playroom. It looks even bigger without the bed and wardrobe.

We have moved our old TV & the Wii into the room, so I guess it’s kind of Pete’s playroom now too. And we have a great big blank wall that we have turned into Mayana’s art gallery. It’s a very cool place to be!

The ‘sleeping room’, as Mayana has christened it, is much smaller, but still much larger than the average-sized bedroom, and has ample room for both of the kids. The rule is that this room is only home to beds, books and clothes… all toys belong in the playroom only (with the exception of Mayana’s new baby doll, Georgi, and her paraphernalia).

Mayana’s side…

Baby Two’s side…

Mayana has moved some of her owl collection into her new room, and Baby Two’s animal contribution is going to be elephants. It’s a cute combination.

So the nesting has kicked in… I’ve even mostly packed my hospital bag, and we have been down to the hospital to tour the birthing suites and maternity ward [^Insert heart palpitations here].

Pregnancy-wise, things are going well. I get bigger by the day hour, but am feeling generally well. I’ve started to get puffy feet, but that’s a good excuse to put my feet up. My back and hips are slightly sorer, and I have developed a very decided waddle. But every day, I’m that little bit closer to meeting my gorgeous baby, and every day I long to feel him in my arms just that little bit more. I have my last week of work this week, and I have no doubt that it will fly by. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to maternity leave!

Until then, I’ll be here, plodding along, steadily growing bigger, and closer to meeting my boy.

Easterfest 2012!

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter weekend, and had a chance to remember and celebrate the real reason for the season, the death and glorious resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ!

This year, for the 13th year in a row, we spent the weekend at Easterfest: the marvellous Christian Music festival that’s held in Toowoomba at this time each year.

I’m pretty sure I say it every year, but I think this year was the best so far. Somehow after the craziness that occurred with the freak flooding of Easterfest in 2011, this year’s festival just seemed to pull together in an amazing way that was community-minded and God-filled.

Mayana once again was an absolute legend. This kid is a born rocker, and it doesn't cease to amaze me how well she copes with such a huge weekend. We make a parenting decision each time we go to the festival that it’s one weekend a year, and three days with no routine, crazy hours, and lots of noise is not gonna kill the girl (or us). Amazingly, she really just makes it work. Each day she napped in her pram, and crawled into a various lap each night at around 8-ish, announced she was tired and promptly fell asleep. Some of the music was a bit loud for her, but we soon fixed that with a pair of baby-muffs, and she was ready to rock with the music a few decibels lower. Each day she took a trip to ‘Kids Island’ to have her face painted, but other than that she was content to just hang out with various family members, usually myself, Aunty Joce & Kami… and she has taken away a very special memory of her first dodgem car experience with Opa!

The final night was the only one that Mayana was still awake when we left (although she had had a 2-ish hour nap earlier in the evening). This meant that she was awake for the Family Variety Show, which is a new festival event and was one of my favourites. Mayana was quite impressed with the orange puppet, Zoe, who emceed the event (and who she thought was the one off Sesame Street), and with the Magic of Christopher Wayne. The kid has been doing magic tricks ever since.

We shouldn’t be surprised really, Mayana is after all a seasoned Easterfest veteran. How many kids can say that they’ve been to their fourth Easterfest at the tender age of three? Even Easterfest was impressed with that!!

Half of the fun of Easterfest is catching up with friends, and this year’s was no different. Our family My very dedicated husband saves a spot in a particular place on the hill for each of the evening shows, and we are usually joined by a whole lot of wonderful friends, making the experience that much more wonderful.

This year our lovely friends from Iron & Clay both performed and joined us on our little possie on the hill. It was so great to see and catch up with them!

Other highlights for me this year included the incredible Empty Chair Project, Melbourne Gospel Choir, Mercy Me & Michael W Smith. The Lads came back for the first time in a few years, and I enjoyed them as always. The Sunday night combined church service was very powerful, with Darlene Zschech leading worship, and a very impacting message from Allen Myers.

The Melbourne Gospel Choir always gives me goose-bumps with their amazing harmonies!

There is something pretty special about coming together with thousands of other Christians to worship God for the combined Resurrection Sunday service!

It was a somewhat different experience for me this year, being you know, 4 weeks away from having my baby. I got to hang out with my mum and Aunty Joce, and we all agreed that having a pregnant woman around had its perks… it meant that we sat down a lot more and therefore ended up listening to a lot more music than we usually do, instead of flitting around between venues (I’m not much one for flitting these days).

I was pretty exhausted by the end of the weekend, but I had the most fabulous weekend, and I wouldn’t have missed it for quids.

This year, we were given the opportunity to stay at this gorgeous little retreat property owned by a local Catholic school. We had beds, cooking facilities, showers and toilets, and it was cheaper for us than camping! Needless to say we have already booked this accommodation for next year!

We all had a brilliant weekend, and can’t wait to do it all again in another 12 months or so (we’ve got our tickets already!), this time with two youngsters in tow. 

If you ever get the opportunity, I can’t recommend spending the weekend at Easterfest highly enough!