We’ve lived her for four years come January, and I still somehow feel like an outsider.
I’m not homesick like I used to be in the first year, when we’d come back from our numerous trips ‘home’ and I’d curl up on our bed and cry because I didn’t want to be here. I’m relaxed here now. I’m happy in my space, my house. And not unhappy in this town, just not totally happy. Lonely.
Sundays are hardest. Because growing up, Sundays, after church, we would almost always either have people over or go to someone’s house or do something. Here not so much. Maybe 3 times this year. If that.
And it just makes me a wee bit sad. I miss having PEOPLE! This is not a small town, but it totally has that small town vibe. It’s hard to get ‘in’. People have either lived here forever or are married to someone who has, and they have family and lives here.
Don’t get me wrong, we do have friends, there are people here that I will miss when we leave, I’m just not so sure that this town will miss me, or notice when we leave.
My gorgeous hubby is the best, and things would be crap without him. Most days he’s (and Mayana of course) all I have. We only see each other, speak to each other. And it’s great, I love him beyond anything, but sometimes I just wish I had a girlfriend.. someone who I could ring anytime- no wait, someone who would actually think to ring ME and want to spend time with me.
One more year. One more year.